5 super brilliant proofs why staying single is halal
C.J Ahmed-26.02.2023
Staying single is not haram in Islam. Marriage is a recommended act in Islam but is not an obligation. There is great ideological polarization among Muslims when it comes to being single. Muslims who do not marry or do not have the intention to get married are looked down by those who are married or who believe that marriage is a must. The questions posed by those who are married towards the unmarried are many. Now the question is, is marriage an obligation or is it a Sunnah? The answer to this is that marriage is a recommended Sunnah and is not an obligation because there is no evidence to prove that the prophet (Sal) declared marriage as wajib. In all the hadiths what the prophet (Sal) said was that marriage is a Sunnah. Let me give you five brilliant proofs why marriage is not an obligation in Islam.
Proof-1-The Youth Were Not Forced To Get Married
Abdullah bin Mas’ood (rali), who said: “We were with some youth not finding anything, so the Messenger of Allah, (sal) said: ‘O assembly of youth. Whoever from you is able to get married then let him do so, for it lowers the gaze and protects the privates. And whoever is unable, then it is to fast, for it is a protection”
(Bukhari and Muslim and others)
From the above hadith it is very clear that the prophet (Sal) did not regard marriage as an obligation. He regarded it as a Sunnah because if it was made an obligation then it would have been a hardship upon the ummah. If marriage was an obligation then the prophet (Sal) would have clearly mentioned it as an obligation or a companion would have narrated of the prophet (Sal) stating that it's an obligation.
Proof-2-The Mentioning of “Wajib and Sunnah by the Prophet (sal) Was Clear
For something to be declared as Wajib there needs to be clear text stating clearly that it is wajib. One such example is in the below hadith.
Narrated by Aisha (Rali), the prophet (Sal) said:
"When anyone sits amidst four parts (of the woman) and the circumcised parts touch each other a bath becomes obligatory”
(Bukhari and Muslim)
In the above hadith, in the Arabic text the word "Wajib" (وَجَبَ) is used meaning "obligation" but in the hadiths mentioning marriage the prophet (sal) always mentioned that it is a Sunnah. No one has the right to make something wajib when the text do not clearly mention it.
Proof-3-Explanation of The Hadiths Where The Prophet (Sal) Forbade Celibacy
Some scholars and laymen are of the view that marriage is wajib. This view is based on the hadiths where the prophet (Sal) forbade celibacy to some companions. After analyzing these hadiths it is clear that the context of this prohibition needs to be understood clearly to understand the hadith.
Uthman ibn mahzun and some others made marriage haram for themselves. This is forbidden because it is forbidden to forbid something which Allah has allowed. This is the reason why the Prophet (Sal) forbade celibacy. This should be understood in this context. The context of these hadiths must be understood clearly to understand the hadith.
"Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas (Rali) said: The Messenger of Allaah (Sal) forbade ‘Uthmaan ibn Maz’oon to be celibate. If he had given him permission, we would have gotten ourselves castrated".
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Anas ibn Malik said:
"Three people came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asking about the worship of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). When they were told, it was as if they regarded it as too little. They said: Who are we in comparison to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)? Allah has forgiven his past and future sins. One of them said: As for me, I will pray all night forever. Another said: I shall fast all my life and never break my fast. Another said: I shall keep away from women and never get married. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) came and said: “Are you the ones who said such and such? By Allah, I am the one who fears Allah the most among you and I am the most pious, but I fast and I break my fast, I pray and I sleep, and I marry women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.”
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Anas (Rali) reported:
Three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (Sal) to inquire about the worship of the Prophet (Sal). When they were informed, they considered their worship insignificant and said: "Where are we in comparison with the Prophet (Sal) while Allah has forgiven his past sins and future sins". One of them said: "As for me, I shall offer Salat all night long." Another said: "I shall observe Saum (fasting) continuously and shall not break it". Another said: "I shall abstain from women and shall never marry". The Prophet (Sal) came to them and said, "Are you the people who said such and such things? By Allah, I fear Allah more than you do, and I am most obedient and dutiful among you to Him, but still I observe fast and break it; perform Salat and sleep at night and take wives. So whoever turns away from my Sunnah does not belong to me".
(Bukhari and Muslim).
From the above mentioned narrations it is very clear that in all circumstances the prophet (Sal) said clearly that marriage is a Sunnah.
Proof-4-The Prophet (sal) Forbade Celibacy Because Of Certain Reasons
Aishah (Rali) reported that Khuwaylah, daughter of Hakim Bin Umayyah
Bin Harithah Bin al – Awqas as – Salami (from the tribe of Sulam) visited her.
Khuwaylah was married to „Uthmaan Bin Maz‟oon. Allah’s Messenger (Sal) saw
Her and noticed her messy appearance; so he asked „Aishah, “O Aishah!
What makes Khuwaylah appear so messy?” Aishah (Rali) replied, “O Allah’s
Messenger! This woman's husband fasts during the day and prays during the
Night. So it is as if she does not have a husband, and thus she neglected her
Appearance.” Allah’s Messenger (Sal) then summoned „Uthmaan Bin Maz‟oon
And said to him, “O „Uthmaan! Are you doing that because you dislike my
Sunnah?” He replied, “By Allaah, no, O Allah’s Messenger! Rather, my whole
Interest is to follow your Sunnah.” Allah’s Messenger (Sal) then said:
“Verily, I sleep and pray, fast and breakfast, and marry women. Thus fear and
Revere Allaah O „Uthmaan, because your family has a right upon you, your guests
Have a right upon you, and yourself (body) has a right upon you. So, fast and
Breakfast, and pray and sleep”
(Ahmad and Abu Dawud. Graded Sahih by Sheikh al Albani in Irwa- ul – Ghaleel)
Look carefully at the above hadith. Uthman bin Maz”oon (Rali) was austere in worship and did not have any relationship with his wife although he was married to her. And this is why the prophet (Sal) asked him;
“O „Uthmaan! Are you doing that because you dislike my Sunnah?”
In another hadith Aa‟ishah (Rali), said:
Allah’s Messenger (Sal) said to him:
“O „Uthmaan! Monasticism bas not been enjoined upon us. Do you not have an
example in me? By Allaah, verily I fear Allaah and safeguard His boundaries
More than any of you.”
(Ibn Hibban, Ahmad and at – Tabarani-Graded Sahih by Sheikh al Albani in Irwa- ul – Ghaleel)
The monasticism mentioned above should be understood as Uthman bin Mahzun (Rali) not following the Sunnah of the prophet (Sal).
Proof-5- Difference Between Forbidding a Sunnah and Practising a Sunnah
There is a huge difference between forbidding a Sunnah and not practising the Sunnah. Let me give examples.
Anas (Rali) reported that some of the Companions of Allah's Apostle (Sal) asked his (the Prophet's) wives about the acts that he performed in private. Someone among them (among his Companions) said:
"I will not marry women; someone among them said: I will not eat meat; and someone among them said: I will not lie down in bed. He (the Holy Prophet) praised Allah and glorified Him, and said: What has happened to these people that they say so and so, whereas I observe prayer and sleep too; I observe fast and suspend observing them; I marry women also? And he who turns away from my Sunnah, he has no relation with me"
(Sahih Muslim)
The meaning of what the prophet (Sal) meant by "Marriage is my Sunnah and whoever does not follow my Sunnah is not of me" is because of the above reason. In the above hadith some of the companions tried to bring in something new to Islam by becoming extreme in worship. Islam is in the middle path. It needs to be noted that even in this scenario the prophet (Sal) only said,
"And he who turns away from my Sunnah", meaning that it was only a Sunnah.
If marriage was wajib he would have said that it's wajib but rather he said it was a Sunnah. Some of the sahaba in the above hadith said that they will not eat meat. Refraining from eating meat as a way of being austere in worship is haram because you are bringing a new thing in Islam and you are forbidding something which Allah(Swt) has made halal. But refraining from eating meat because of personal reasons such as for example, you were brought up in a vegetarian family before you accepted Islam and you are not used to eating meat is not a transgression because you are accepting that eating meat is allowed in Islam and you are not transgressing. It’s only a personal choice. Similarly if you say: “I don't want to get married because I fear that I won't be able to provide for my wife or children” is a fair reason because there is no transgression.
Scholars Who Said That Marriage Is Not Wajib
Even after giving the above eleven proofs to prove that marriage is not a must, there are foolish Muslims who will blindly quote the opinions of a few scholars to prove that marriage is wajib. Not all scholars were of the view that marriage was wajib .Ibn Khadama al Maqdisi in his book "Al Mughni" said the following
"Our colleagues differed as to whether marriage is obligatory. The best-known opinion in our madhhab is that it is not obligatory, except when a person is afraid of committing a forbidden deed if he does not marry. In that case he should make himself chaste. This is the opinion of the majority of fuqahaa’.”
Scholars like Salih al Uthaymin and Shaikh bin Baz was also of this view. Getting married is a recommended Sunnah of the messenger (Sal) which has many benefits and at the same time it also should be noted that marriage cannot be termed as an obligation based on the above evidence.
From the above proofs it is clear that being single is not haram in Islam
Staying single is not haram in Islam. Marriage is a recommended act in Islam but is not an obligation. There is great ideological polarization among Muslims when it comes to being single. Muslims who do not marry or do not have the intention to get married are looked down by those who are married or who believe that marriage is a must. The questions posed by those who are married towards the unmarried are many. Now the question is, is marriage an obligation or is it a Sunnah? The answer to this is that marriage is a recommended Sunnah and is not an obligation because there is no evidence to prove that the prophet (Sal) declared marriage as wajib. In all the hadiths what the prophet (Sal) said was that marriage is a Sunnah. Let me give you five brilliant proofs why marriage is not an obligation in Islam.
Proof-1-The Youth Were Not Forced To Get Married
Abdullah bin Mas’ood (rali), who said: “We were with some youth not finding anything, so the Messenger of Allah, (sal) said: ‘O assembly of youth. Whoever from you is able to get married then let him do so, for it lowers the gaze and protects the privates. And whoever is unable, then it is to fast, for it is a protection”
(Bukhari and Muslim and others)
From the above hadith it is very clear that the prophet (Sal) did not regard marriage as an obligation. He regarded it as a Sunnah because if it was made an obligation then it would have been a hardship upon the ummah. If marriage was an obligation then the prophet (Sal) would have clearly mentioned it as an obligation or a companion would have narrated of the prophet (Sal) stating that it's an obligation.
Proof-2-The Mentioning of “Wajib and Sunnah by the Prophet (sal) Was Clear
For something to be declared as Wajib there needs to be clear text stating clearly that it is wajib. One such example is in the below hadith.
Narrated by Aisha (Rali), the prophet (Sal) said:
"When anyone sits amidst four parts (of the woman) and the circumcised parts touch each other a bath becomes obligatory”
(Bukhari and Muslim)
In the above hadith, in the Arabic text the word "Wajib" (وَجَبَ) is used meaning "obligation" but in the hadiths mentioning marriage the prophet (sal) always mentioned that it is a Sunnah. No one has the right to make something wajib when the text do not clearly mention it.
Proof-3-Explanation of The Hadiths Where The Prophet (Sal) Forbade Celibacy
Some scholars and laymen are of the view that marriage is wajib. This view is based on the hadiths where the prophet (Sal) forbade celibacy to some companions. After analyzing these hadiths it is clear that the context of this prohibition needs to be understood clearly to understand the hadith.
Uthman ibn mahzun and some others made marriage haram for themselves. This is forbidden because it is forbidden to forbid something which Allah has allowed. This is the reason why the Prophet (Sal) forbade celibacy. This should be understood in this context. The context of these hadiths must be understood clearly to understand the hadith.
"Sa’d ibn Abi Waqqas (Rali) said: The Messenger of Allaah (Sal) forbade ‘Uthmaan ibn Maz’oon to be celibate. If he had given him permission, we would have gotten ourselves castrated".
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Anas ibn Malik said:
"Three people came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asking about the worship of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). When they were told, it was as if they regarded it as too little. They said: Who are we in comparison to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him)? Allah has forgiven his past and future sins. One of them said: As for me, I will pray all night forever. Another said: I shall fast all my life and never break my fast. Another said: I shall keep away from women and never get married. The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) came and said: “Are you the ones who said such and such? By Allah, I am the one who fears Allah the most among you and I am the most pious, but I fast and I break my fast, I pray and I sleep, and I marry women. Whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not of me.”
(Bukhari and Muslim)
Anas (Rali) reported:
Three men came to the houses of the wives of the Prophet (Sal) to inquire about the worship of the Prophet (Sal). When they were informed, they considered their worship insignificant and said: "Where are we in comparison with the Prophet (Sal) while Allah has forgiven his past sins and future sins". One of them said: "As for me, I shall offer Salat all night long." Another said: "I shall observe Saum (fasting) continuously and shall not break it". Another said: "I shall abstain from women and shall never marry". The Prophet (Sal) came to them and said, "Are you the people who said such and such things? By Allah, I fear Allah more than you do, and I am most obedient and dutiful among you to Him, but still I observe fast and break it; perform Salat and sleep at night and take wives. So whoever turns away from my Sunnah does not belong to me".
(Bukhari and Muslim).
From the above mentioned narrations it is very clear that in all circumstances the prophet (Sal) said clearly that marriage is a Sunnah.
Proof-4-The Prophet (sal) Forbade Celibacy Because Of Certain Reasons
Aishah (Rali) reported that Khuwaylah, daughter of Hakim Bin Umayyah
Bin Harithah Bin al – Awqas as – Salami (from the tribe of Sulam) visited her.
Khuwaylah was married to „Uthmaan Bin Maz‟oon. Allah’s Messenger (Sal) saw
Her and noticed her messy appearance; so he asked „Aishah, “O Aishah!
What makes Khuwaylah appear so messy?” Aishah (Rali) replied, “O Allah’s
Messenger! This woman's husband fasts during the day and prays during the
Night. So it is as if she does not have a husband, and thus she neglected her
Appearance.” Allah’s Messenger (Sal) then summoned „Uthmaan Bin Maz‟oon
And said to him, “O „Uthmaan! Are you doing that because you dislike my
Sunnah?” He replied, “By Allaah, no, O Allah’s Messenger! Rather, my whole
Interest is to follow your Sunnah.” Allah’s Messenger (Sal) then said:
“Verily, I sleep and pray, fast and breakfast, and marry women. Thus fear and
Revere Allaah O „Uthmaan, because your family has a right upon you, your guests
Have a right upon you, and yourself (body) has a right upon you. So, fast and
Breakfast, and pray and sleep”
(Ahmad and Abu Dawud. Graded Sahih by Sheikh al Albani in Irwa- ul – Ghaleel)
Look carefully at the above hadith. Uthman bin Maz”oon (Rali) was austere in worship and did not have any relationship with his wife although he was married to her. And this is why the prophet (Sal) asked him;
“O „Uthmaan! Are you doing that because you dislike my Sunnah?”
In another hadith Aa‟ishah (Rali), said:
Allah’s Messenger (Sal) said to him:
“O „Uthmaan! Monasticism bas not been enjoined upon us. Do you not have an
example in me? By Allaah, verily I fear Allaah and safeguard His boundaries
More than any of you.”
(Ibn Hibban, Ahmad and at – Tabarani-Graded Sahih by Sheikh al Albani in Irwa- ul – Ghaleel)
The monasticism mentioned above should be understood as Uthman bin Mahzun (Rali) not following the Sunnah of the prophet (Sal).
Proof-5- Difference Between Forbidding a Sunnah and Practising a Sunnah
There is a huge difference between forbidding a Sunnah and not practising the Sunnah. Let me give examples.
Anas (Rali) reported that some of the Companions of Allah's Apostle (Sal) asked his (the Prophet's) wives about the acts that he performed in private. Someone among them (among his Companions) said:
"I will not marry women; someone among them said: I will not eat meat; and someone among them said: I will not lie down in bed. He (the Holy Prophet) praised Allah and glorified Him, and said: What has happened to these people that they say so and so, whereas I observe prayer and sleep too; I observe fast and suspend observing them; I marry women also? And he who turns away from my Sunnah, he has no relation with me"
(Sahih Muslim)
The meaning of what the prophet (Sal) meant by "Marriage is my Sunnah and whoever does not follow my Sunnah is not of me" is because of the above reason. In the above hadith some of the companions tried to bring in something new to Islam by becoming extreme in worship. Islam is in the middle path. It needs to be noted that even in this scenario the prophet (Sal) only said,
"And he who turns away from my Sunnah", meaning that it was only a Sunnah.
If marriage was wajib he would have said that it's wajib but rather he said it was a Sunnah. Some of the sahaba in the above hadith said that they will not eat meat. Refraining from eating meat as a way of being austere in worship is haram because you are bringing a new thing in Islam and you are forbidding something which Allah(Swt) has made halal. But refraining from eating meat because of personal reasons such as for example, you were brought up in a vegetarian family before you accepted Islam and you are not used to eating meat is not a transgression because you are accepting that eating meat is allowed in Islam and you are not transgressing. It’s only a personal choice. Similarly if you say: “I don't want to get married because I fear that I won't be able to provide for my wife or children” is a fair reason because there is no transgression.
Scholars Who Said That Marriage Is Not Wajib
Even after giving the above eleven proofs to prove that marriage is not a must, there are foolish Muslims who will blindly quote the opinions of a few scholars to prove that marriage is wajib. Not all scholars were of the view that marriage was wajib .Ibn Khadama al Maqdisi in his book "Al Mughni" said the following
"Our colleagues differed as to whether marriage is obligatory. The best-known opinion in our madhhab is that it is not obligatory, except when a person is afraid of committing a forbidden deed if he does not marry. In that case he should make himself chaste. This is the opinion of the majority of fuqahaa’.”
Scholars like Salih al Uthaymin and Shaikh bin Baz was also of this view. Getting married is a recommended Sunnah of the messenger (Sal) which has many benefits and at the same time it also should be noted that marriage cannot be termed as an obligation based on the above evidence.
From the above proofs it is clear that being single is not haram in Islam